


Sober

by Walang_Tinta



Series: Granger likes it both ways [7]
Category: Mobile Legends: Bang Bang (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21545827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walang_Tinta/pseuds/Walang_Tinta
Summary: Maybe in another life. They can be together. Their hearts beating the same harmony. The gates of their mouths unlocked. Maybe the stars would align, be kind, for once. Maybe God would untangle the red strings of fate, his seamstress made a mistake.But it's a stupid wish.----Yeah, it's a sequel to "Fool"
Relationships: Alucard/Granger (Mobile Legends: Bang Bang)
Series: Granger likes it both ways [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1411801
Comments: 20
Kudos: 54





	Sober

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing lasts forever
> 
> Doesn't hurt to try
> 
> \- Moonlight by Jayomi
> 
> \----
> 
> The following songs inspired this fic:
> 
> 1.) Fool - Cavetown (inspired the prequel)  
> 2.) Moonlight - Jayomi  
> 3.) Deeper Conversation - Yuna  
> 4.) All I've ever Known - Bahamas (HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS, THIS WAS THE SONG I USED TO SET THE MOOD)

A soft brush of lips. An accident. He wished.

"You're drunk–"

A kiss, light as dewdrop, light as snow. Granger's treacherous lips throbbed at the touch. Electric waves pranced on the tiny hairs of his skin. Granger shook his head, temptation lured him again to the doors of hell. He can't. Not again.

"I need to go home–"

Another. And Another. One was too many. Granger's brain took a backseat, his heart took the wheel and it drove to the ravine.

"Alucard..."

A stealthy tongue slipped inside his mouth and muted his rejections. The tongue pierced the walls of his heart. The love inside overflowed and it coalesced around them in tiny sparks. Gravity forced them to collide. Two meteors that crashed and burned among the stars, the debris scattered beneath their feet. Once again they were absorbed into the universe of their creation.

Granger's eyes closed like curtains on midnight. Hide them from the moon. Hide them from the planets. They don't need to see. The world outside became an ethereal being that disappeared into the darkness. There were no witnesses to their wicked sin.

Shut the doors. Kill the lights. Leave everything behind.

Granger was sinking, his mind submerged in water, his mouth drowned in kisses. He couldn't breathe. Alucard teased the life buoy in front of him and threw it into the sea of out of his reach. Heartless to the core, Alucard dragged him down towards his doom.

The small apartment blurred into shades of gray and blue, they have traveled to another world. Alucard pulled his soul by the seams, every atom in Granger's body followed his lead. Granger's body surrendered to this forbidden dance as Alucard steered him to the bedroom.

They left the sofa, their clumsy feet waltzed a tango to their escape. Chaos on the floor. A whirlwind of lovers. Clung to each other madly. Each kiss a boon to their sanity.

Don't speak. Don't think. Don't worry. Don't ruin it. Don't look back. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Noise. Ringing. Ignore it. So distracting.

The bedroom is just a few steps to the right. The door croons a creak when it sweeps on the floor. Be quiet, someone might hear. Remember to lock the door. Hide the key in the drawer. Do it a little faster, before the sun comes to shore.

You two almost got caught before.

They tumbled on the bed, a barrage of kisses, shallow breaths, frantic movements, needy hands touched wherever they can reach, they do as they please. Their nerves went haywire, indulged in their addiction. The sheets wrinkled at their fervor, the bed protested ever so slightly, it's used to a different weight, the union of their bodies was too much to bear.

The velocity of his heartbeat made Granger dizzy. Slow down. It's too fast. His rushed breaths hid the words he could not speak. His voice. His words. His mouth. Alucard devoured them all. A kiss of a vampire that inhaled all thought. Their saliva coated their lips with sin. The smack of their mouths sang a lewd tune. Their tongues flared like cobras in the desert.

"Granger..." A drunken purr. A bite on the ear. To hear his name again with that voice, Granger moaned, his sanity swept away in the wind, his body is in ruins.

His mind was swimming. A boat in a roaring ocean, he's a slave to the tides, indulging in his bad habit. The words he couldn't say sank to the depths. They're doing it again.

His hands no longer followed his whims, they hugged Alucard tight and brought him down, the nimbus clouds above the quivering ocean became a storm. Their hands clutched the other like tiger claws, their lips lapped like tidal waves on the rapids. The flavors of their mouths blend into each other. The smack of their greedy mouths and hazy breaths flooded the canal of their ears.

It was hard to breathe. It was hard to think. The incubus above Granger gave him no quarter, a sharp bite to the neck, and he began to suck. Granger turned his face to the pillow to silence his groans. A fruitless endeavor, his pride already left to rot the moment Alucard called him over.

Alucard's lips kissed a dizzying path on his skin, the tip of his chin, the arch of his nose, the shell of his ear, the plateau of his forehead, each pelt created ripples of tiny bursts on his body. This wasn't enough. Granger can never have enough of him. More... Granger wanted...

"Alucard..." The iniquitous lips traveled a bee line along his neck, then planted a titillating kiss on his adam's apple. "Fuck..." Granger groaned, unbound, and he found his lips tucked underneath Alucard's own, and their mouths made love again.

How addicting. How thrilling. To have Alucard again. To hold him again. To kiss him again. To have him by his side. Like what they used to be. A forbidden fruit. The nectar so sweet, it tainted their souls. This foolish game they played... how long can this last?

The distance between them was suffocating, his heart ached when they're apart, and his heart soared when he's in his arms. He's a planet that wandered the galaxy to discover the sun. Alucard's an invasive moon that entered his territory, and the gravity pulled him towards a black hole. Alucard ruined his plans.

He has to go home... Silvanna's waiting—

The circuits on his skin ignited when he felt foreign hands burrowed under his shirt, and up and up it went, down and down his high went. The geysers returned to the vents. He knows where this goes...

A hand pushed Alucard towards the moon, two lips said goodbye with a pop, and twin electric blues gawked at two maroons.

The amalgam of oil and water dissipated into the atmosphere. The tempest withered into puffs of air. But it's not quite over, Granger frowned at the incubus on top of him trying to descend, Alucard won't give up so easy. Why make this harder than it already is?

The small space between their lips, a magnetic attraction of forces, temptation was on the brink.

"Why'd you stop?" Alucard whispered, his hand cupped Granger's cheek, stroked the skin like cat's fur.

Granger sighed. "You know why." Granger tsked and closed his eyes, maybe Alucard will vanish into the night once he opened his eyes. His heart throbbed in silence, why even bother pretending he didn't care? He opened his eyes once more, and Alucard's face was closer than before. Granger frowned, he whispered a secret he wouldn't share with the shadows. "I shouldn't even be here."

He crossed his arms, he took a deep breath, lucidity returned to his bones, their tiny world ploddingly ripped apart by the seams. Granger sighed. The words he spoke. The final blow.

"We can't do this anymore."

Silence. The constant third wheel in their skirmishes. Alucard still didn't respond. Granger smiled, the curve of it crooked, a counterfeit smile. "You're drunk anyway, you'll forget about this tomorrow. We should stop–"

Alucard shook his head, he lowered his face and burrowed himself against Granger's neck. He inhaled, and every atom of Granger danced in his lungs.

"I'm not drunk..." A kiss on Granger's cheek, Alucard swept his lips on the flushed skin, a roll of cirrus clouds on the peaks of a mountain. "It's been a long time since I've been sober..."

Alucard sat up, and Granger felt his soul left his body. The constellations in Alucard's eyes was hypnotizing, each reflection of the stars fought for a space in his cobalt eyes.

Granger expected Alucard to take off his shirt, as he always did, but what Alucard did next propelled Granger into another world.

Alucard looked at Granger, his frame steady and calm, despite the gale that billowed in his ocean eyes, he raised his hands to his chest.

And he began to take off his wedding ring.

Granger's eyes widened, happiness and hatred fought another battle in his chest. How fucking brazen, how fucking bold, but he's not so different isn't he? He snarled at their situation, what map did they follow that lead them to this? This is too many one night stands to be meaningless. This fling has dodged too many bullets. They have overstayed their welcome in this limbo, and they have nowhere else to go.

Alucard is truly talented in breaking people apart, and Granger is too skilled in self-torture, he has wasted too many years on a man he can never have. Wasted too many years wishing of the ways he could. Too many years to trying to replace him. A man like no other. Out of his reach. Out of his league.

The golden metal lay alone on the bedside drawer, it has left their little world. Granger turned his head away from the luster of the ring, the existence of it was too much to bear.

Alucard descended and all Granger could see was a fallen angel from the galaxy. Granger felt his body cradled in Alucard's arms, their hearts communicated in morse code the words they couldn't say.

"Granger..." Alucard swallowed. The desperation palpable, the hitch in Alucard's breath broke a tiny piece of Granger's image of him. Where was the man he fell in love with? Granger just idled here, refused to let go, picked up the remnants of Alucard that still exists. The pieces he can barely hold on to, the fragments drifted away from his grasp like fallen leaves on a stream.

"One last time... Please..." Alucard's portrait tilted ever so slightly.

Alucard said that last time, and the time before that too. The things they learned in school, what is right? what is wrong? Their conscience malfunctioned. They don't mean anything anymore. Just as empty as Alucard's vows to his wife months ago.

"Granger, can't we pretend? Please don't do this to me..."

Words. More meaningless words. Granger doesn't want to hear anymore.

"Miya won't be back till tomorrow, so just..."

Memories of the birth of their affair flickered for a moment, a shooting star that vanished just as fast as it appeared. A kiss behind the door, with Alucard's pregnant wife outside, she never knew. Granger frowned, dread pooled in his gut, the end of their world, it was imminent. It will end by daybreak. This was a mistake. This love shouldn't exist, the two gods couldn't even control their creation. Apocalypse was inevitable.

A tender kiss, a hasty tongue prodded him to open his lips, the frenzied movements stifled Granger. Alucard's distracting him again, Granger knows, he always does when they try to make sense. These psychedelic motions stirred his being, a black hole waiting to explode.

A kiss on the forehead. Alucard rested there, one of his favorite places, Granger remembered him say. Alucard's words ghosted on Granger's skin, it spoke of promises he never fulfilled.

"Just for tonight, let me have you."

Granger's heart undulated. He cursed how can he easily fall in Alucard's clutches, how he effortlessly sinks into Alucard like quicksand. Alucard knows too well the power he has. How far has Granger fallen?

"I hate you." A shot in the dark, a useless, despite the raw honesty. Granger waved the white flag long ago, the flag stood tall with charred edges amidst the storm of Alucard's presence.

A bitter smile took shape in reply, even if Alucard faked his happiness, he's still handsome, hauntingly so. Why did the gods bestow beauty on Alucard, Granger doesn't know, don't they know how much he abused it?

A soft laugh. It's disgusting how fake it sounded. Alucard brushed his thumb Granger's scar, a trail of bitter memories, and Granger closed his eyes in resignation.

"I know."

Granger sighed at the answer, the faint mist floated to Alucard's chin, the unsaid words evaporate before they can reach Alucard's skin. Despite his pride, Alucard's the only mistake he doesn't regret. A secret he kept shut within the depths of his soul.

Maybe in another life. They can be together. Their hearts beating the same harmony. The gates of their mouths unlocked. Maybe the stars would align, be kind, for once. Maybe God would untangle the red strings of fate, his seamstress made a mistake.

But it's a stupid wish.

Without warning, Alucard's tongue licked a red river on the slope of his neck. Red wine spilled on Granger's chest, the beginning of wildfire on his skin. Alucard's reckless kisses danced on the flesh, left goosebumps with every peck.

Another try, Alucard retraced his kisses back to Granger's lips. His mouth caressed Granger's own like a snake would do to its prey. Alucard reeled him in, and Granger fell head first in the inferno. It was an all too familiar sensation. Impossible to forget.

It's only on the third kiss that Granger returned it.

The kisses deepened, their tongues danced with each other, a fiery tango. Granger was floating to the clouds, despite the weight above him pushing him down. He let Alucard take control of him again. It was easier this way, he doesn't want to think anymore.

Another try, Granger felt the heat of Alucard's hands, twin streams of heat prickled on the sides of his torso and they lifted the bottom of his shirt all the way to his underarms.

A moment's pause, then Granger raised his arms.

It was slow, the way the shirt left his body, little by little Alucard disarmed him of whatever defenses he had. Granger was coerced to lift his back to take it off, and he felt Alucard's arm clasp his lower back. The shirt fell somewhere he doesn't care, Granger opened his eyes, and Alucard's own swept across his torso, then back to his eyes. Blue meets red once again, like fire drowning in water. The tension paralyzed them, and the world held its breath.

"What?" Granger nearly squirmed, his pathetic ego begged his body not to squirm under those eyes. Twin skies watched him from above, he felt dissected under their gaze, every little part of him unturned. He only had so little pride left, what more did Alucard want from him?

"Granger..." Alucard gulped, a millisecond he looked away, Granger given respite even for a short while. Alucard took a breath and looked at Granger again, then Granger braced himself.

Alucard's next words drop on his soul like acid rain, Granger under his spell once again. Granger's heart, the tower of babel, nearing its zenith, crumbled in the sand of empty words.

"Do you still love me?"

The loudness of their heartbeats defeaned the silence. Granger's heart recoiled, and he absolutely refused to answer that question, and the words he couldn't say fought their way out of his mind, a pounding headache. All he can see is the demigod above him pulling away the iron curtain, revealing the mortal man hiding inside all along.

The man he loved, he still exists.

Alucard licked his lips, then a smile, but oh so cruel, it spoke of resignation, of self doubt. Alucard an open canvas, his bones lay bare and broken at Granger's feet. To be exposed, to be vulnerable... and Granger knows he's falling for him again.

"Well I do, love you..." Alucard continued to talk, words tumble like waterfall. "I still do, even if it's like this..." Another form of that crooked smile, this time with a dimple, it's a crime how endearing he looked.

Granger turned away, he couldn't bear to look at the image above him, he looked at his side, he saw the faint shine from the ring, a light in the dark, and his heart ached.

"Please, stop talking..." A hitch in his breath, Granger turned on his side and hid his body from blue eyes, an impossible task. If he could, he would crawl somewhere deep inside him to avoid it all.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be..."

A moment of silence, Granger, so distracted in his doubts, fooled himself that Alucard vanished like a dream.

But a warm, deep, kiss was planted on his neck, confirmed Alucard's existence, then feather light kisses stepped close near his ear. Through the hairs of his skin, he felt Alucard smile.

"You never change, huh?" A soft whisper, a lovely smile emanated from it, Alucard's serenity a breeze in the fields. Granger sighed, on the verge of giving up, his heart ready to be taken again. "You've always been so shy when it comes to this."

Granger felt Alucard settle on top of him, a comfortable weight, a warmth he can sink into. Alucard's a burden he would carry till the end, he had no choice.

A trail of soft butterfly kisses traveled from his ear, all the way to his mouth. His body turned on its back, and Granger found himself facing the sky again, kissing Alucard again, his arms unbound from his inhibitions, hugged again the man that plagued his mind. A barter of licks and kisses, a pause, Alucard took off his shirt, and the skin of their chests reacquainted again, a light sheen of sweat stuck their bodies together like glue.

Alucard hooked his arms underneath Granger's back and pulled him close. The blonde ravished his neck, and Granger's wanton sighs reverberated against Alucard's lips. Granger turned his head towards Alucard's hair, he tightened his grip on Alucard's back, the friction of their bodies expanded the fire inside him. He'll cherish this nearness, the eclipse of sun and moon, a feast of the senses – seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, and _breathing_ Alucard. His soul relished the few hours he has left with him by his side. He'll remember this forever. He'll never experience this again.

"You don't have to say anything, Granger. I just want to let you know."

How patient. Alucard had always been when it comes to him. Asshole. Granger fumed. Alucard makes its too hard to unlove him...

"Idiot..." Granger murmured, so softly, he said it to himself too. Who are they trying to pretend? This affair was hopeless from the start.

Alucard snickered, his blue eyes lit with an inner glow, softly he brushed Granger's shut lips like finger painting on a canvas. "Please stop talking." An echo of Granger's words. Then a gentle kiss, another, and another, it's not enough, lost in each other, their hearts wandered to the elysian fields.

Alucard swallowed Granger's lower lip in his mouth, sucked on it like fruit, a resounding pop, a satisfied sigh, then Alucard made his descent downwards the continent of Granger's chest. The incubus ravished the delicious skin, tasted wherever it pleased. The senseless sounds from the needy mouth beckoned him to wander, He explored the valleys of Granger's stomach, and his hands left flames wherever it touched. Granger groaned, his skin blushed at the obvious show of worship, Alucard kissed his flesh in veneration, and Granger arched his neck when Alucard fondled a delicate spot on his chest, he missed this, too much.

A sly lick on the nipple, the tip of Alucard's tongue encircled the bud, he loved to tease, and the other bud was pampered with his other hand. Granger quietly mewled Alucard's name, then he covered Alucard's blonde hair with his hands, caressed the soft curls, guided Alucard to where he wanted to be touched. He felt Alucard's greed, the hungry mouth indulged every inch of his skin, and lower and lower that skilled tongue went. Alucard's wicked ways filled Granger with this unbearable heat, they both know where this goes, and Granger doesn't know how long he can last...

Then doubts lacerated his mind with accurate precision. The cold blade nearly torn his soul in half.

Is this how Alucard made love to his wife at night? Did Alucard kiss her the way he kissed him? Did Alucard used the same techniques? Did he spoke the same silken words to her? Whispered it in her ear? Whispered it in her mouth?

Would she be here, in this bed, instead of him? Here in Alucards arms, engulfed in his warmth, just like this? Would she moan Alucard's name like he did? Would she love Alucard like he did? Would she make Alucard smile that precious smile he'd make when he's sincere? Make him happy, truly happy, with no pretenses? Would she wear his last name with pride?

Was this where their child was conceived? Here on this bed? Or maybe somewhere else in this apartment?

Would that child have Alucard's eyes?

A question he'd rather be ignorant of, he pulled Alucard closer, as gravity would lure a meteor. He barricaded his uncertainty, and memories of Alucard flooded his mind – Nostalgia – of what they used to be, before this mess, an extinct world where it was just them alone, before strangers from other planets invaded their world.

_Silvanna. I'm sorry._

No. Don't think. Only he and Alucard exist.

There's no room for anyone else in their universe.

Alucard led him out of his thoughts when he felt restless hands tugged the waistband of his pants, the belt already unbuckled, wordlessly Granger raised his hips, his boxers went along for the ride, goosebumps raised on his skin the instant he was bare.

Alucard was a deluge that drenched his body, Granger's skin besieged with nips and licks, then Alucard kissed a blazing path towards his groin, his hands caressed Granger's skin. The rapid pulses on Granger's skin kissed the palms of Alucard's hands, ocean waves that rippled under a boat.

"Alucard..." Granger moaned, this heat nearly evaporated the sweat off his body, he's a simmering kettle now, the pressure inside threatening to devour him if he doesn't get what he wants, and oh, he truly wanted this so, so badly, his conscience screaming at the back of his head now a fuzz in the background. They want this. _They_ _need this_.

Alucard kissed the jut of his pelvis bone, and always a tease, blew softly over his groin. Granger shivered, his body did a tiny stretch, and he curled his toes, he choked a breath, the visceral reactions of his body embarrassed him, beyond his control.

A sardonic laugh echoed from between his legs, and Alucard's calloused fingers dug deep in his rear and pulled him downwards. Granger blushed against his will, almost tempted to claw his way back towards the frame of the bed.

"Do you still want this?" The hot whisper danced over his member, singed him to the bones. Alucard's feverish tongue made a tantalizing trail along his inner thighs, Granger squirmed, annoyed, pissed, he hates this about him, his legs made a move to kick off Alucard from his body, if not for those corded arms that trapped him on the bed.

"Do you?" He heard Alucard growl and without warning his thighs were lifted, the vice grip made it impossible to fight back. The upswing changed the center of his gravity, he yelped and thankfully he gripped the sheets in time, the bend of his legs was now draped over Alucard's shoulders. A humiliating position, no different from a whore in a brothel, Alucard had no qualms or whatsoever in emasculating him. Granger nearly wanted to shrivel and die, but how can he fight back? Poised like this?

Alucard further raised the lower part of his body, exposing his ass to that sinful mouth, he felt the weight of Alucard's stare, and try as he might to deny it, he rejoiced at the unrestrained lust that emanated from those blue eyes. The ring of his ass pulsated, and his arousal slowly pooled in his groin, his member slowly stood to face the man above him. Alucard's fingers left claw marks on his knees, and lower they went, fastened on Granger's thighs.

"Answer me." He heard Alucard rasp, the blonde lowered himself till he lay prone on the bed, a breath away from Granger's member. Granger stilled, his aroused heart played another beat, but it's not too different. That's not a gentle request like before, it was a demand.

But Granger was anything but meek, especially to this fucking asshole. Alucard always had this delusion that he owns him...

"Stop asking." Granger rumbled. The red of his eyes a furnace, dragged the heat in the air and converted it to searing flame. He gasped when Alucard lifted his member and licked the tip. Granger nearly surrendered to Alucard's volition, his anger converged with arousal in his groin, a dangerous mix, and Alucard, always merciless, kissed the tip, the heat of Alucard's lips a taste of what's to come. Granger suffered a tiny death when Alucard blew cool air, taking away the swelter his body desperately needs. Why deny him this?

"Damn it... idiot hurry..." A weak order, and he regretted utterung every sound. He felt Alucard preening at his reactions, the faint snickers, that arrogance was both charming and repulsive. Granger bit his lips, nearly made it bleed, nearly cried when Alucard kissed a pathway along the inside of his thighs, the blonde hair tickled the skin. Granger nearly wanted to beg, throw his pride into canals, kneel in front of this bastard and offer his soul in exchange. His resolve to continue this would shatter the more Alucard teased him like this, every pause is a step backwards away from nirvana, and they are nearing towards planet earth.

"Relax..." Alucard murmured an imposter kiss against his skin. Alucard clasped his thigh like how a tiger would bite its prey, the other held the base of his member and made these achingly slow strokes that drove him mad. Up and down, heaven and hell, Granger bit his lips and covered his eyes with his arm, how awful, Alucard was too gentle, the grip as light as holding a cup, the soft brushes of his fingers sent tiny sparks that cascaded in his body, but it's not enough, his body became too needy for Alucard's touch. More. Please. Tighter. Faster. But he would not resort to begging, even if his mouth formed those words, for his withering pride, he suffered in silence.

"You're too hot." He heard Alucard murmur. "I keep forgetting how sensitive you are..." Granger flinched on the bed, each word from Alucard's a gust of wind that blew against the foreskin of his member. He groaned, annoyance clashed with his arousal, it's clear what Alucard's doing.

Granger squirmed, tried to free himself, tried to stand up, away from this presumptuous bastard, but the fingers that restrained his thighs seized him back with the force of a wolf's fangs.

"I'm sorry for taking it slow." Alucard planted a kiss on the tip, a tender apology, then the grip on his member tightened, the strokes became more pronounced. A coil of a wild snake. Granger groaned, he turned his head against the pillows to mute the sounds from his mouth.

"I want to make it last."

His heart had no time to swoon at the sentiment. His soul was too distracted. His body moved on it's own, lost in its own realm. He groaned. He sighed. He moaned. He cried. The quiet symphony of his voice resonated in the room. High and low. Alucard fondled his body like strings on a harp.

Feverish warmth. Dizzying heat. Alucard fulfilled his forbidden wish, finally he could breathe, his member entered that sinful mouth, an inch further inside, a ring deeper in hell. Along with it Alucard made slow strokes on his thighs, his knees buckled, his toes curled, and he pulled Alucard closer with his legs.

He sighed, a steam of his arousal expelled from his lungs. The heat of Alucard's mouth consumed him, made him sink further in the bed, and that sly tongue created those sensual brushes that set his nerves alight.

His hands gripped Alucard's head and caressed the tawny hair. Pulled and Pushed. Waves on a shore. His mind was fizzled, it doesn't know what to do next. The image in front of him was too much, he closed his eyes, but his imagination made it worse. How far has his member gone in that mouth? Would Alucard swallow it all? Did Alucard loved the taste? He could not see, but he could hear it all, his quiet breaths did not conceal those lewd sounds below him, the slurps of Alucard's tongue, the husky groans, the smack of his member against Alucard's mouth...

He loved it. Cherished it. And he almost felt jealous. Petty. Ridiculous. His own mouth open wide, he just wanted to taste Alucard again and oh... He was floating... Alucard had the gall to cup his bottom to plunge his member deeper into that throat. He can feel that throat sucking him in, a vacuum pulling his senses away from his body, its walls squeezing his manhood, and he rejoiced at how far he has gotten inside. He could've sworn with each plunge he knocked back against Alucard's throat. Granger moaned. Loud. Quietly he screamed Alucard's name, lost in his rapture, and in response Alucard groaned, the guttural sound prickled against his member, Granger nearly fainted from it all. Granger bit his lips, he needed release, with reckless abandon he tried to push against that mouth, to meet each descent, he was desperate, but Alucard only pressed him down. Higher that mouth went, landed on the tip, sucked on it, then departed with a kiss.

"But I was..." Granger covered his eyes with quivering arms. He breathed, frustrated, he was so... so close. As despondent as Icarus. Somewhere on the foot of the bed, he heard Alucard took off his own pants, it didn't take more than half a minute for Alucard to return to the bed.

Granger looked at him. There above him. The sun. The planets revolved around him, and Granger was a mere moon, lucky enough to get a sliver of Alucard's light. Alucard. Adonis. Beauty. Then a momentary pause in his heart, envy struck again, to know that someone else had seen Alucard like this, to touch him like this, it wasn't fair, but Granger shook his head, it doesn't matter.

It never did.

Alucard was on top of him again, a dolphin that dived into seawater, and Granger caught him in his arms, in a splash their bodies met once again, a reunion of their lips, a sacred dance of tongues, their mouths ravished each other, their bodies ascended to the stars.

Alucard's hands cupped his jaw, guided his head, their faces brushed against each other throughout the kiss. Without volition Granger's arms embraced Alucard's back like vines, and his leg began to rise, to lock Alucard in place, to entangle Alucard like moss, yet Alucard leaned away, their lips separated, and he kissed Granger's cheek instead.

Wordlessly, Alucard sat up and he grasped Granger's hips, his thumbs made loving strokes on his pelvis, prodded the brunet to lie on his stomach, The darkness was kind to shroud Granger's blush, meekly he nodded and did so, strange enough, he never felt so exposed.

A nomad in a desert, Alucard's lips tinged with wanderlust, created footsteps of kisses on the slopes of Granger's shoulders, a tender nuzzle in Granger's neck, a whiff of Granger's hair, then a slow journey along the delicious curve of Granger's spine, and his meandering hands grazed along Granger's back, winds that frolicked on the hills.

Granger tucked his head in, the sensations were sweet, he's a boat that drifted along the stream, followed Alucard's lead. His tender breaths spoke of his trust, despite his rebellion earlier, then he took a deep breath, Alucard ultimately landed on his hips, and those gentle hands pulled them up, and Granger obliged him, the blush on his face reddened, his ass exposed to Alucard's eyes.

Granger heard a shuddered breath above, and the grip on his hips strengthened, and Granger swooned, delighted that he too can render Alucard weak. But he will die if Alucard found that out. He now knelt on the bed, but his torso remained glued to the sheets, his ass exposed to the air, his back a downward curve, and his imagination ran wild again, embarrassed at this position, posed like this...

A final caress, from his waist that ended on his glutes, Alucard's breath misted over his ass, unconsciously Granger wiggled his hips, thirsted for Alucard's touch, a kiss on the flesh, and Alucard sucked on it, bit on it, then the other hand fondled the other buttcheek. Ravaged his bum with a barrage of licks and kisses. Granger sighed, it felt good, so, so good, then those hands cupped his derriere for a moment, anticipation rocked Granger to the core when Alucard's thumbs parted his cheeks apart. 

Warmth cascaded on his body, soaked him to the bone, Granger did a silent shriek, his mouth uttered erotic sounds as Alucard encircled the ring of his ass with that hot blazing tongue, saliva as hot as mercury. Granger trembled and bit his lips, breathed through his nose, he buried his head in his pillow, overwhelmed, aroused, flustered, all at once. And oh... Granger shrieked when a shrewd tongue forced its inside, in and out it went, corrupted him, the lewd sounds had him on a high that he couldn't get rid off, and then he realized... Alucard... he's making out with his ass, that chiseled mouth and artful tongue, a french kiss, pretended it was his lips, and Alucard pulled his thighs closer. Inhaled him. Devoured him. Kissed him. Granger's legs spread apart on their own, he would've fallen to the bed if it weren't for Alucard holding him up, those rugged hands caressed his thighs like molding a clay pot.

The tongue freed itself, Granger whined at the loss but then a cunning finger slipped inside, so easily, his walls welcomed another invader. Penetrated him. Impaled him. It got worse when Alucard swiveled his finger while it was still buried inside. It's only the tip of the iceberg, of what he truly craved moving inside him...

His hole widened, even a little, then too soon, the finger left, and Granger found his mouth forced open by Alucard's hand. Mindlessly, Granger sucked on the fingers, tasted himself, flustered on where those sinful fingers had been. Unbridled, Alucard further went inside, the fingers made its way to his throat that had Granger choke at the intrusion. Granger closed his eyes in shame when tears flowed, he couldn't breathe, but Alucard always treated him like this, always had his way, inwardly he resigned to his instinct to please him... It's all he knew.

"Granger..." Those words were too close, Granger turned his head and in no time Alucard attempted to kiss him, but ended up at the cheek and licked away the tears. Alucard leaned back again, Granger nearly recoiled when he felt a thick wad of spit enter his ass, then once more, a wet, hot finger went inside, then one became two, then two became three. Granger bit his pillows to silence himself. It agonized him, pain and pleasure sizzled his nerves, but pleasure had always been the victor. The fingers moved in unison, drops of his saliva soaked the entrance, it was so hot, so achingly wet, he couldn't bear it. Faster. Deeper. Don't stop. Granger tried to hold on, his erect member too was getting impatient, pulsated, hung all by its lonesome as his ass was spoiled rotten. Deeper the fingers went, and ever so sly, Alucard bent them, hitting a very sensitive spot and Granger mewled at the touch.

"You... You have no idea how hot you look right now."

He knows obscene Alucard can be, but Granger blushed all the same. The moist digits left, Granger's hole is more than wide enough, the rim of his ass loosened and lovingly abused by Alucard's ministrations. He's more than ready... The pressure inside was killing him...

A scalding heat settled on his ass, he knows what it was, that dick, that hot, thick, engorged rod, was centimeters away from his hole, laid atop of the skin of his bum. Granger gulped, libido raised to alarming levels, the heat inside him reignited, he's almost scared of how much his body wanted him. It's been so long since they've...

Granger's hips was reinforced with Alucard's hands, Granger braced himself, a slow, beautiful surrender, Alucard's manhood glided between the junction of his ass, simulating what would his movements would be once inside him. An impatient grunt escaped Granger's lips, discomfited at Alucard's actions. Why torture themselves like this?

Then Granger knew the answer.

Lust dripped from Alucard's mouth, the vile word he spoke a miasma that seeped on his skin. An order that demanded him to obey.

"Beg."

Granger's jaws clenched, his hands gripped the sheets in annoyance, he sneered, this is Alucard after all, the bastard never changed. Granger's pride once set aside, finally stood right in the center.

"No."

That's the only answer he would give.

A foreboding laugh from above, a hum of a feral lion, it trembled the beat of Granger's heart. Granger closed his eyes, closed his mouth, braced himself of what's to come.

"You never do."

A guttural growl, the fingers dug deep that it bruised the skin. Alucard's throbbing manhood placed against the ring of his ass, and Granger fought the urge to wiggle his hips, then steadily it moved its way inside. Penetrated him, bit by bit seized his world apart at the joints.

Granger whimpered, a slave to his arousal, he stood on all fours now, to make the entry made easier, it was then Alucard gripped his hips, pulled his body against that invading manhood. So far inside. Too far to feel any shame. Granger's wanton mouth opened in rapture, a silent scream only he could hear. Slow. Tight. Hot. Ultimately, the rod fully sheathed itself inside. Conquered him again.

Alucard returned to him. Where he wanted him to be.

They exhaled, realized how far they've gone. Another sin in the bed. No words needed. Alucard was the first to move, an experimental thrust, and Granger bucked against him, then the searing length dragged its way outside, and the walls of Granger's hole clung to the departing member, refused to let go. But Alucard nudged his way back, merciful, forceful, nearly rocked Granger from his position. Another, and another, a slew of ocean waves crashing on Granger's body, each thrust stronger than the last, but it's excruciating how slow each push was. A slow ascension to heaven, impatient for nirvana, but Granger wanted this to last.

Their shallow breaths indicated their rhythm, their silhouettes blended in this intoxicated dance, the music of their bodies crashing, colliding, burning, against the other. A beautiful din.Alucard's gentle hands fondled his ass, the wonderful sensations dispersed, rippled along the rivers of his nerves. Reality slowly vanished away, the rod plunged it's way in further and further deep inside, eroding his mind. Pleasure took the strings and pulled, restraint resigned from its hold. Granger bit his lips and fisted the sheets, it's taboo, how good this feels.

The thrusts slowed, but they still moved all the same. Alucard laid on his body like moss, wrapped those corded arms around his body like vines, a comforting weight, a living blanket. The sweat on their skins glided on the friction of their bodies. Granger sighed when Alucard burrowed into the hollow of his neck, their breaths mingled, a chemical reaction, somehow he never felt closer, to have Alucard hold him in his most vulnerable... He never felt so secure.

A whisper in his ear, and his world almost ended.

"I love you..."

Granger stilled at the words, they came to existence centimeters from his face, the tiny soundwaves traveled to his ear, Alucard's lips on the side of his hair. Those sacred words pierced the depths of his soul, crumbled the fortress of his heart. Despite the tremors inside him, Alucard never stopped, continued the erratic rhythm, the blond lost in his own realm. Did Alucard even know he said those words? Was it a mirage that took the form of sound? Granger clearly then has lost his mind, his bereft heart played tricks on him. Never mind, Granger ignored the words and went with the flow, don't think–

"Granger, I love you."

Granger's heart played a startled beat, the melange of love and hatred struck the chords, the sounds erratic. The words evaporate in the air, condensed into a memory that rained on his body. It immobilized his soul.

_Why are you doing this?_

Alucard said them again, softly, the hushed words descend on his heart like the first fall of snow. The forbidden words continued to linger, an echo, they meander along the walls, they seeped into the pores of his skin. Words that Granger couldn't say. Wouldn't say. Shouldn't say. How is this fair? Why now? Granger released a gasp of disbelief, his heart weeped, this... this doesn't make sense. The blaze in his body turned into something else. It was easier to be angry. It was easier to let emotions to take control. He doesn't want to comprehend those words. Truth or Lie. Doesn't matter. Why say it? More than once? The nerve... The gall... to say those words. The same words Alucard vowed to his wife on the altar... To say the same words in the bed husband and wife sleep in! 

This affair wasn't supposed to go any further than mindless sex.

"Stop saying it...!" Granger rasped, his conscience shattered him, he wanted to stop. This couldn't go on. They shouldn't have started this. Why did he say yes to this? Why did he persist this hopeless romance? He's so desperate. Forced to sin. Forced to lie. Just to have him by a side, even for a millisecond to occupy the space beside him. He doesn't want anyone else. Alucard was all he wanted. Alucard. Alucard. Alucard. Alucard. Alucard....

Alucard only held his body tighter, his neck bombarded with soft kisses that made him weak. Those strong hips still moved against him, convoluted his thoughts. Alucard's distracting him again, his body lost in pleasure again. His mind now an astral projection, looking at his state. Why did they end up like this? He shouldn't have fallen. He did all he could to stop. He's so sorry. Silvanna. He tried. This. This was a mess. This was–

A rugged hand covered his quivering fist, Alucard cupped his hand and covered it with his own.

"I won't stop saying it till you do." Alucard nuzzled his neck, his frayed nerves soothed, just like that. It's worrisome, the power Alucard has on him. See now, how far he has fallen. There's no hope for his foolish heart.

"Granger, I love you."

Alucard said it once again, and Granger wanted to scream. What is this idiot doing? He's ruining everything! Granger shook his head, he had to say something, before Alucard steals his sanity again.

"It won't matter..." Granger spat out, his voice hoarse from anger and the pressure rising inside him, anger, his final weapon, but he has waved the white flag a long time ago, his heart did all it could to fight a losing battle. He was weak. There's no helping it. He fell in love with a cruel man

"It does."

_No..._

**"Shut up!"**

An unstoppable force was triggered, his eyes closed in pleasure when the force behind him strengthened, threw his consciousness to oblivion. Too deep. Too fast. The swelling member inside scalded his walls. The slap of their skins made the bed whimper. Granger gripped the sheets to reign in his mind, the surge of dopamine and adrenaline swam in his system. Malfunctioned the myriad of receptors on his skin. Made him high. Made him forget. Even for a little while.

Alucard's hold on his body changed, the soft, tender, caresses converted to greedy and powerful strokes, bruised him, scraped him. No longer a lover, Alucard fucked him like an animal. A bitch in heat. Manhandled him like property. Cupped his pecs. Grazed his hanging length. Granger shrieked. Chanted Alucard's name. Gave himself to him. Pleasure had driven out his sanity, mindlessly he met Alucard's thrusts with his own, knocked back against that merciless member, and Alucard rised to the challenge, meeting him all the way. This friction, this heat, it was killing them, slowly, agonizing, their bodies surrendered to their wants, each push a step closer to oblivion, and Granger lost himself, as he always does.

Lost his will. Lost his voice. Lost his pride. Alucard grasped his chin a vice grip, tilted his head, forced him to look, then Granger saw the storm in those eyes, and he drowned in an endless sea of blue. He never had the will to look away.

Alucard brought their lips together. The kiss wasn't brutal, neither it was reckless, it solemn, a gentle caress of the lips. Beautiful. Wonderful. Their voices and breaths mingled between their dancing mouths. They have marked each other, a brand hidden in the shadows, a kiss they can only replicate in their dreams, their nerves remembered the texture, the smell, the taste, all of it. This moment. This was theirs. _Forever_. A secret they will take to their graves.

The whole world vanished away, all his doubts, all his aches, they ceased to matter. Something within Granger's psyche screamed in joy. Nothing, nothing in this world can ruin this, the reunion of their bodies. The eclipse of sun and moon. They can only go higher and higher in the atmosphere, till no one else can tear them apart...

The planets aligned, the constellations scattered in the sky, and Milky Way exploded between their skins. Bursts of comets and stars shattered Granger's body. Granger moaned. Loud. His mouth open in reckless abandon. Alucard's essence flooded in him, the warm cum stained his walls, a drug instilled in his body, eased the sudden descent from heaven. Hot. Warm. Alucard. The beginning of the end. His whole world reduced to sensations. His senses set ablaze, magnified, nerves spasmed to the signals, thoughtless, he became a grueling mess.

Alucard continued to push, once, twice, thrice, then a satisfied sigh. Granger still thirsted for him, his hole wrapped around the rod, it shivered and clenched, milked every drop. Tiny squirts of white continued to pour in his hole. The cock slackened, it had to go. Their shallow breaths the only surviving outside noise, the rapid, recovering, beats of their hearts resonated in their chest, sweat drops slither along the expanse of their skins. The scent of sex scattered in the room. It's all that remains.

The bruising grip on his hips loosened. Slowly Alucard pulled out, and Granger sighed at the release, an emptiness only Alucard can fill. He shuddered when small streams of cum left his hole, and he felt drops of warm semen scattered on the backs of his thighs. Granger clutched his pillow and buried his face, suddenly shy, he was mute, and he felt Alucard plant kisses on his sore derriere, and the flush on his skin reddened, he refused to say anything.

Alucard clutched his waist, and with a tender force pushed him down. Granger obliged, he lay on his stomach, but it wasn't enough for the blond, he felt Alucard lift his hips to turn him over. Always careful in touching him. Granger wordlessly followed, the instant he was on his back, Alucard lied on top of him and held him close.

Granger felt Alucard dug himself in the hollow of his neck, another favorite place Alucard claimed. Alucard's shallow breaths fanned on his skin, and he felt the chest above him breathe. It was comforting for them to stay like this, enjoy each other's company, to pretend they were together from the start. Sex always ended up with them sleeping, or the other leaving, and they become strangers in the morning. A sad state of affairs, but they do what they can, each minute of unfaithfulness the only thing that can extinguish the fire and longing within them.

It was good while it lasted.

Granger embraced him, allowed himself to indulge. He sniffed the tawny hair, brushed the tanned flesh of Alucard's back, his fingers memorized the feel of that sun-kissed skin. His body was pliant, instinctively, his lungs and his heart, moved with the rhythm of Alucard's breathing, like how sails on a boat yielded to the winds. He stared at the ceiling. He said nothing. He thought of nothing. His body soon on the brink of sleep.

The waking world beckoned to him. Alucard sowed kisses on his neck, soft, warm, rays of sunlight. Granger exhaled and continued grazing his fingers along Alucard's back, and lower it went, traced the bones of the spine, the muscles contracted under his touch, a shiver from above, and the faintest hint of laughter. Granger was confused, then realization settled in, Alucard, he was ticklish there, he just remembered. This innocuous tidbit made him smile, he hid it and pressed his lips against Alucard's hair. Content.

What would it be like? If he stayed till morning?

What would it be like If he woke up next to him?

Granger never had the chance to ponder, he felt Alucard shift, the man above him balanced himself on his elbows. With the speed of a shallow stream, Granger moved his hands to hold Alucard's hips. He resisted the urge to pull him back down.

Alucard raised his head, his eyes, a tender shade. The purpling sky on the horizon. Hues of emotions Granger couldn't decipher. The dewdrops on his tan skin formed a lovely luster, and Alucard exhaled, a shaky mist, then said words Granger least expected.

"Please, don't hate me."

Silence. The world tilted on its axis. Granger shook his head. Astounded. The man that loomed above him, no longer a god. With infinite gentleness, Granger cupped Alucard's chin, and Alucard cradled himself in his hands, offered himself in his touch. Granger realized yet again the power he has on Alucard's heart. A fragile little thing. He had to be careful...

Granger lowered Alucard's face, then a chaste kiss on his lips, a beautiful sunset, a meeting of heaven and earth. Granger leant away before Alucard would respond in kind.

"I don't."

Oh, but how he tried, so many mornings, so many nights, planned a life without him. A blueprint he meticulously devised. Formulated tables and columns in his head, on the whys and hows that Alucard wasn't the best for him, but his stubborn heart refused to listen, never considered it. Alucard didn't make it any easier, giving him more reasons to fall.

A smile, the smile he loved shined on him like Orion's belt, a beacon in the dark. Alucard kissed his cheek, perfume on his skin. A brief contact of their foreheads, and Granger felt like he returned home, then a loving whisper floated between the space of their mouths.

"I'm glad."

Alucard leaned back and laid opposite of him. They lie next to each other on the bed. Daydreaming. Nerves. Played games in their head. All the same. The curling tendrils of sex dissipated, their realm at the edge of the apocalypse.

Their hands a hair strand away from each other, Granger took the initiative this time, he held Alucard's hand, a habit he formed, did whenever he could, and he traced where the wedding ring should be. Alucard should wear that ring tomorrow, where it belonged. The thought elicited a smile, acceptance, melancholy, of what Alucard will return to once tomorrow comes.

They finally reached their ending.

"What time will Miya come back?" Granger started, as if they talked during brunch.

"Eight in the morning." Alucard shifted, Granger guessed he looked at the clock on the wall.

Granger swallowed, mouth suddenly dry, his heart didn't want to talk anymore, but it had to be done. His thumb traced the finger again, searched for the metaphysical ring engraved on Alucard's skin. It was strange, to not sense the cold metal that reminded him of what he could never have.

"When will you two be expecting?" Somehow, it wasn't as painful as he thought it would be, acknowledging the future Alucard had created without him.

"Two months." A soft chuckle, Granger can sense the stress and excitement in his response. Alucard will be a father in two months time. It really didn't sink in until now. He's losing him to another person, and that person didn't even exist yet.

"It's a boy." Alucard added. That voice. Nervous. Excited. Granger nodded, but still faced the ceiling. Alucard's life will sail smoothly once the morning sun rises, it will go places Granger will no longer reach for. Granger should stop daydreaming then. The two of them. It will never happen.

Alucard with his wife and son, it made a better picture.

"Congratulations." Granger meant it. He wished Alucard well. Sincerely. Alucard would make a great father. He knows that for certain.

"Thank you." Alucard held back his hand tighter, but it was loose enough that Granger can break free if he wanted. Regardless, Granger obliged him and did the same, he felt the sweat scattered on that palm, Granger thumbed the hand in comfort.

"Name?" Granger asked.

"Harith. Miya and I agreed on the name." So he had a name now. It was easier to imagine him, no longer a blank face.

"That's a good name." Granger nodded.

Granger felt another shift on the bed, and he heard Alucard's innocent request, it filled him with existential dread.

"Can you be his godfather?" The voice was much closer, he guessed Alucard faced him now.

Granger refused to look at him, he'll _break_ , that question... It was disheartening, how Alucard tried so hard to keep him in his life.

"No." There's no other answer he would give.

"I see." Granger doubted Alucard accepted his answer.

Silence reigned again. Granger sighed, nerves getting to him, one by one he tried to remember his belongings and where he last saw them. He should leave by now. His clothes, on the floor. His phone, front pocket...

"You have a girlfriend. I heard." Alucard started. A whiplash, Granger was startled, embarrassed, nearly forgot she existed. Granted, they only met weeks ago, her place in his life, he doesn't know it yet.

"Yeah." A hesitant answer, he doesn't know how long they would last. Did they even start?

"Who is she?" Alucard asked, always curious.

"Silvanna." Her name rolled off his tongue, like reading it in your contact list.

"She sounds lovely." A smidgen of sadness in that voice, but Granger chose to ignore it.

"She is." Granger pursed his lips. She's too good. Too kind. What did she see in him? He could never understand it. If he could, he could call it quits, this wouldn't be fair for her... but she insisted.

She doesn't deserve to be talked like this behind her back.

"You said you still loved me?" A change of subject. He doesn't want to think of her for now. His heart is already convoluted as it is, but in hindsight, his question made it worse for himself.

"Yeah..." A meek voice, nearly made Granger smile, bitter, both of them were really pathetic, weren't they?

"I tried not to..." Alucard murmured, a small act of self defense. It was endearing, sad, how both couldn't move on from each other.

"Granger... I... I'm sorry."

Alucard was silent after that. Granger too, throat tight. Both lost in a memory that condensed in front of their eyes. A motion picture. They time traveled together to that night, years ago, as hazy as the smoke exhaled, on that parking lot, the two of them, with the moon as their witness, that damn kiss, they weren't the same ever since.

They can no longer fool themselves.

Granger tightened his hold on Alucard's hand, he felt the pulse against his own, the firmness of the flesh, how he watched it grow since their naive days in grade school, and he still held the hand of the man that boy had become. The pacts they created. The moments they made. The games they played. Nostalgia. Postcards from the past wither and the remains danced with the smoke in outer space.

Then he let go.

"Don't be... Don't be sorry." Granger sighed, his nerve endings went haywire, electric cords sending signals to his chest, orders his heart still couldn't accept. The words formed in his mouth, the letters danced in his taste buds.

"Can you do this then?" Granger swallowed, the tunnel of his throat tightened, the words hurt him. Despite that he refused to back down from this, even if the anguish in his heart caused miniscule tremors in his body, begged him to stop talking.

"If you can't stop loving me... then love your wife."

"Love your son... Love your family..."

"More than you loved me..."

Granger exhaled, the sadness in his heart eased, the shackles of the past fall one by one. It was then he knew, this was the right decision.

He should've done this from the start.

Laughter diluted the silence. An awkward sound. Forced. Alucard always had this habit, he hated being quiet, even if Granger knew that, it still hurt, how Alucard laughed it off.

"Alright." Alucard sighed. It didn't sound like he meant it. Granger knew this was hard on him too.

"Okay, I will, for you..." Alucard whispered, Granger felt the weight of his stare on his cheek.

"No, do it for your family, for your _marriage_ , idiot." Granger groaned. He shook his head. How dense can Alucard be?

"You always knew what's best for me, huh?" Alucard laughed, it was contagious, and Granger smiled, away from Alucard's gaze, that sound, a remnant of their youth, back in the days when all they worried about was their grades in school, and the future was an imaginary place from some distant planet. Simpler days.

Inorganic soundwaves reverberated in the room. The melody shattered the delicate atmosphere between them. Wordlessly, Granger sat up and turned to the side of the bed. He knew who it was. He tried to get his bearings, his feet on the floor, his eyes gazed down, looked for his phone.

"Asshole, where'd you throw my pants?" Granger groaned, he covered his head with his palm, the moonlight on the window wasn't enough illumination, and he was too groggy to locate the phone by sound.

"Don't be lazy, look for it." He heard Alucard tease, Granger frowned, he really shouldn't have expected help.

"And I didn't hide it like last time." Alucard is truly shameless when he wanted. Granger blushed, like it'd matter if he tried to hide his face.

"Don't mention that again..." Granger mumbled, he felt the floorboards with his feet, found the denim jeans, he picked it up. His hands navigated to the front pocket and he took his phone. 

He answered it. His mind already preparing a list of excuses.

"Silvanna?" Granger answered, and his hand almost trembled when he heard her relief across the phone.

"Granger, I was so worried..." Her voice spoke of her innocence, and for a minute he saw in himself in her, and his heart ached, she really, _truly_ , deserved someone better than him. How does she put up with this?

"I'm fine. I'll come home tomorrow. I didn't make it in time for the bus station earlier. I'm sorry for making you worry."

Granger felt Alucard shift beside him, quiet as mist, Granger knew Alucard was curious, the blond now sitting beside him, but he dared not look at him.

As far as Granger is concerned, Silvanna had no inkling on who Alucard was, and it should stay that way.

"As long as your safe." Silvanna answered. "I'll wait for you till you come back to your house, okay?"

"Don't wait too long. You should rest. " Granger advised, he knows how much her job asked for her.

"It's fine if it's you. I'll wait." There was a hidden meaning in that line that Granger wasn't prepared to think about, and he knows what she'll say next. 

"Granger, I love you."

Granger expected that line, and it was a thunderbolt in his heart, to hear the same words again tonight, from two different people, his heart was torn in two. The presence of Alucard beside him magnified, the guilt in his chest as heavy as the weight Atlas carried.

Granger chanced a look at the man sitting beside him. To resist his allure for too long was near impossible. Inches away, Alucard was bare, in all his glory, lips strewn in worry, stared at him with those blue eyes that had him in awe.

Granger never had the will to look away.

"Granger?" Silvanna, always patient for his answer. 

Thoughtlessly, a foolish action he allowed to happen. He gave his heart permission to speak.

"Sorry for leaving you hanging." Granger licked his lips, he stared at the man of his dreams, a dream that never came true, Alucard scooted closer, silent as night, and Granger didn't bother moving away, his flustered heart immobilized him.

The words he spoke next, as sacred as verses from the bible, Alucard was his follower, absorbed every word.

"Yeah, I do... I... I love you..."

Alucard was a breath away.

"So... So much..." 

Alucard cupped his jaw.

"You don't even know..."

Granger gave in, without thought, allowed Alucard to take his lips hostage. His heart was a fickle one, it couldn't let go, it couldn't forget, but he had to learn. Despite this, his fingers already covered the microphone, concealed their affair for a little longer. One last time.

A portion of his soul was taken away, and he took a part of Alucard for himself. Alucard is a part of him. For better or for worse. They have lived in each other's lives for too long to simply fade away.

"Granger, I'm glad..." He heard Silvanna rejoice. Granger didn't mind her for now, she could wait. Granger sighed, relieved, the weight on his soul, Alucard, lifted in the most unusual way.

"Well, I guess I should go to sleep like you told me to." Her voice blended with the background. Granger closed his eyes as Alucard brushed his hair, and he leaned into Alucard's palm. Tired.

"Yeah... You should..." Granger answered her, but his attention remained on the man in front of him. There's nothing else in this room worth looking at.

"You're really the kind to worry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye!" Silvanna bid her farewell. Unaware of the tension on the other end.

Granger pursed his lips, a shaky breath, but he saw Alucard smile, that lovely grin, it was an assurance. They'll be okay. Even when it's all over.

Granger too smiled back, bittersweet. Alucard...

"Yeah... Goodbye..."

Granger hung up, and like a trigger, he felt Alucard cup his nape and had him lay on his shoulder. Granger sighed and burrowed his face in Alucard's neck, Alucard had always been his lifeline.

"When you said..." Alucard gulped. Granger felt the pulse under him speed up, and the deep breaths that followed, and always concerned for Alucard's wellbeing, Granger stroked Alucard's back to calm the storm brewing inside.

"When you said 'I love you'... Did you mean it?"

"Yeah." There was no point in hiding anymore, both of them bare, secrets unraveled like pyramids freed from desert sand. So this is what it's like, to be free, for the first time in years, Granger could breathe.

Granger felt a misty sigh atop his head, the heaviness of those words more than felt, and those calloused fingers brushed against his nape, sweat fused to his flesh, like oil on canvas. Granger breathed in, cigarette smoke, alcohol, cheap cologne, and substances of Alucard's soul, the tiny atoms inhaled, all of it danced in his lungs. A momentary high, and Granger basked in the few minutes together they had left.

Alucard spoke once more, loud enough so the ghosts in the walls can hear, and he pulled Granger against him, the sun's gravity guided the moon.

"I'm glad I got to hear it from you… while it's still for me."

Granger smiled against Alucard's shoulder, the relief in that voice, it was more than enough. It's alright. It's okay. There's no bad blood between them like he feared. It's infectious, Alucard's optimism. Alucard always looked at the bright side of life, this idiot… He'll miss him.

Regardless, Alucard will learn to move on. Learn to unlove him. Learn to love someone else.

And in time, he will too.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has a long history. 
> 
> Originally, it was supposed to be Lesley that Granger has a relationship with but I had doubts if it should be her, so I'm really thankful for Silvanna's debut, the fandom isn't attached to her yet. 
> 
> This fic is actually the origin of my other drabble, "The best man I could be", but it never saw the light.
> 
> I didn't plan to make a sequel at all, I was content with "Fool" as a stand-alone story, the original plan I had for "Fool" was too convoluted, that writing a comprehensive story from it was nigh impossible. 
> 
> But then I saw an old draft for "the best man that I could be." I read it again, and I thought that with a little tweaking, it would make a great continuation for "Fool", even if they weren't related to each other at all. So i decided to go with it.
> 
> Also, i really planned for Alucard to be using him, he wasn't in love at all, but my beta reader convinced me to make Alucard fall for Granger too. It'd be too heartless. 
> 
> Also, the reason why this took so long was because I'm trying a new writing style, it was hard, but I learned a lot from fusing poetry and metaphors in my fic, it's a very good learning experience. 
> 
> Leave a review, means a lot, thanks a bunch, Please don't keep it yourselves. Either here on IG, it would mean so much to me.


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